Practicing Mindfulness Daily

It's a given that when we practice something, we get better at it. Our brains are made to adapt to different stimuli. Mindfulness can be practiced in small ways every day such that you will get better at it. If you really wanted to learn a foreign language, you wouldn't practice one day a week. You would practice every day. It is the same way with learning mindfulness, which is to say learning to be present in the moment and take it nonjudgmental view of things.

By learning to be mindful and more in the moment, you'll be more fully engaged in whatever it is that you're doing -- talking to a friend, reading a book, playing golf, and so on. Too often we are not really present when we are here. One important benefit of mindfulness is that it will enhance your connections in your relationships. It is much easier to connect with people, to gauge their emotions and react appropriately to their body language and tone of voice, when we are fully present. When we learn to become more aware in the moment, we will not be subject to the incessant stream of thoughts that often fill our heads. An incessant stream of negative thoughts can give rise to corresponding negative emotions - such as sadness, anxiety, and depression - which will have a negative impact on our well-being. Is very challenging to become mindful in the midst of strong negative feelings. If you only try to be mindful in your most challenging situations, it is unlikely you will be able to "catch yourself." When I say this, who is doing the catching? The conscious and "real" you is doing the catching. You are not the current of negative thoughts - you are the conscious presence that becomes aware of those thoughts and feelings. The key is to practice mindfulness daily so that you will be able to use it naturally when you are in challenging situations.

It is often helpful to associate mindfulness with some type of cue that you encounter on a daily basis. This can serve as a signal to check in with yourself - become aware of your breathing, any tension in your body, the stream of unconscious thinking that is going on in your head, the emotions that you are experiencing, etc. You can also be mindful, that is to enter the present moment, by tuning in to nature - the songs of the birds, the scent of spring flowers in blossom, the shape and movement of clouds, and so on.

Here are some potential cues that you might try using to practice being more mindful:

• Every time your cell phone rings
• Before you make any call on your cell
• At every stop light
• When you wash your hands
• When you take a drink of anything (not just alcohol!)
• When you get onto your computer
• When you log on to any website
• When you check your email

You might think of other cues that you could use that are more fitting for you. The key is to associate something that you do several times per day with mindfulness - use it as a cue to take inventory and be in the moment. As you do this, you will become more adept at it. Then, when you need it most because it's a challenging situation, you will start "catching yourself" and become aware of your negative thoughts and behavior patterns. Once you become aware of these, then you have some space to start changing those patterns and go a different direction. You cannot go a different direction unless you become aware that you are heading down an old direction to begin with!

Give it a try. With daily practice, you will start to experience the difference.

A New Spin on Walking the Dogs

Like many others, I need to walk my dogs every day. They look forward to it much more than I do most of the time. Usually when I walk the dogs I'm walking them and thinking what I'm going to be doing when I'm finished. Eckhart Tolle would say that my "ego" is doing the talking. That voice in my head (just to clarify - it is my voice so I'm not "hearing voices") is in the form of background chatter. Usually I'm not really "there" - at least not my conscious presence. It's like when you are dreaming and you are not aware that you are dreaming - the chatter in your head often happens to you and is not really the result of conscious effort.

As I have been working on mindfulness and trying to be more present - be here when I'm here and there when I'm there - I decided to practice this on my nightly dog walks. So, instead of letting my mind start churning, I breath slowly and notice details about the world around me - the wind in my face, the ground beneath my feet, the stars in the night sky, the moon peaking behind the clouds, and so on. I find these tremendously relaxing and a good way to ensure that I have a meditation time daily - merely from being present while walking my dogs. I think that even my dogs can tell that I'm more at peace.

Try to find something that you do every day and make a point of trying to be fully present during those times. Thus, those times become an opportunity to practice mindfulness. As you practice, you will get better at it. You will notice that you can tune into the moment and tune out the current of your thoughts. Being present will improve your well-being and help you feel more grounded in your daily life - and not as vulnerable to the currents of your thoughts.

Self-Liberation Through Mindfulness

As you can tell, I've really gotten into mindfulness as of late. Although I've been practicing mindfulness for about 10 years, a convergence of things have led me to become more focused on it.

I can say with utmost confidence that mindfulness is not a fad or the latest craze. It's a way of living that has been around for thousands of years. Virtually every spiritual tradition emphasizes some form of mindfulness, although this is usually referred to with some other term such as being conscious, present, aware, and awakened. Western psychology has really begun to focus on the importance of mindfulness in the past decade. Indeed, I believe the popular "cognitive-behavioral therapy" approach (or CBT) really works because we become more mindful of our thoughts...particularly our negative thoughts...and learn not to get swept up in them. There's no way to change patterns of dysfunctional thinking without first becoming aware of the dysfunctional thinking.

As I've said, you are not your thoughts. When you become aware of you thoughts (or emotions or bodily sensations), then you are that conscious presence. Mindfulness is not thinking, it is being. It is that connection with the present moment and what is going on around you. To be mindful, you are not emptying your head and trying to think of nothing. That's quite a challenge! Instead of trying to have no thoughts go on in your head, just tune in to the present moment. How do you know that you're alive? Can you sense your breathing? Do you feel the "aliveness" in your body? Where and how do you feel it? What different shapes and colors do you see around you? How many different sounds can you detect right now? All of these things can pull us in to the present moment. While we are in the present moment, we don't have to fight against a current of negative thoughts. We are standing on the shore and outside of that current. This is liberation.

Mindfullness Challenges

Honestly, I really am working on not "living in my head" too much. I am improving on this, but I am undoing years of conditioned thought patterns. Eckhart Tolle calls this stream of incessant, unconscious thinking the "ego." It is thinking without conscious awareness of your thoughts.

So, this is kinda funny and a great example of how I need to work to liberate myself from this unconscious chatter that goes on in my head. Mind you, most of this is pretty innocuous (e.g., I wonder what would be good for lunch today) and often fairly positive (e.g., For this next client, I really need to talk to her about...). Now, there's a time in place for everything, and certainly there are times for these types of thoughts. However, too much thinking pulls us away from the power of the present moment...thinking instead of Being. Learning how to be Present (i.e., mindful) is critical because that helps us to connect to others and the world around us. Also, negative thoughts hold no power over us when we are fully Present...because we are Being and outside the current of unconscious negative thoughts.

Anyway, I get kind of enthusiastic about new things, and Tolle's most recent book, "A New Earth" really connects with me. In it, he eloquently (although sometimes a bit cerebrally) espouses the importance of being awakened to the present moment. So, I'm taking a shower and thinking of how wonderful the book is and how important being Present is. Suddenly, to my dismay, I realize that I have this stream of unconscious thoughts going on in my head about how great being Present is!! Aargh...I think to myself. Then I think, "Isn't this ironic how I'm thinking about how great being Present is and I'm totally not present while taking this shower. Now THAT'S irony." Then I just realize...Uggh! I did it again! At that point, I stopped thinking of being Present, ironies, etc., and just enjoyed the feeling of a warm shower. Finally, I was Present.

Eckhart Tolle's "A New Earth"

I read Eckhart Tolle's "The Power of Now" a few years back and really liked it. As the name implies, it's mainly about learning to live in the present moment (i.e., mindfulness). He can be a bit "new age-y" at times, but I think most of what he is saying is very good. I reviewed that book on my website: http://www.drmikebrooks.com/austin_psychologist_resources.htm

Tolle's latest book, "A New Earth" is part of a webinar that Oprah is doing every Monday at 8:00 pm. The webinar is 90 minutes, and it's live. I know it might seem "fluffy" because it's now on Oprah, but please don't confuse Mr. Tolle with Dr. Phil (who seems like Jerry Springer). There are some important "truths" that Mr. Tolle eloquently presents that are part of spiritual traditions that date back thousands of years. Thus, he's not really saying anything new, but he thoughtfully describes ways in which we can recognize and understand our true nature and learn to quit identifying our "being" with our thoughts. We are not our thoughts. I'll definitely be writing more on this, because I'm very excited about where this is taking me personally and professionally.

If you are interested in the webinar, you can go to Oprah's website or just download the audio portion on iTunes for free (just run a search on "Tolle Oprah" and it will come up.

Here It Is - Your Moment of Zen

What gives you the greatest sense of peace and joy? Are you allowing time for these things in your day? Look at your daily schedule - what are the things on there that truly give you this sense? If you are having trouble finding anything, you need to adjust your schedule! Adjust your daily schedule to fit in at least 30 more minutes of activities that give you peace and joy. If you allow for 8 hours for sleep (which you should be getting), that leaves you with 16 hours in which you can find these 30 more minutes. If you dedicate yourself to making this change, you will definitely reap the benefits over time.