Our Worst Misfortunes Never Happen...
I've said before that I'm a big fan of quotables, empowering words, etc. I use them all the time myself. Some people think more in terms of images, but for me, it's mostly words.
This one came to me by way of a client. He was using this to help him with anxiety. This is from Honore de Balzac, a French novelist and playwright (b. 1799 - d. 1850). We wrote:
"Our worst misfortunes never happen, and most miseries lie in anticipation."
I see this as a very powerful (general) truth. Certainly, we encounter some great misfortunes in life, but never as many as our minds spin for us. What is so interesting is that the amount that we actually suffer in anticipation of possible misfortunes happening far outweighs the misery caused by these negative events actually happening.
Now, we can all think of exceptions to this, but let's try to view this as a general truth that we can use. Here's an example that fits what I'm talking about. Suppose you have a presentation to make at school or work in two weeks. You begin to worry about it. What if I mess up? What if I don't have anything intelligent to say? What if I leave a bad impression on people? What if I lose my job because my presentation is so bad? We've all been there at one time or another. You lose some sleep over it. You fret, you agonize, you pace around, you are on edge...for two weeks leading up to the presentation.
Then you give the presentation. Maybe it's not a home run and people don't give you a standing ovation, but you do okay, say some relevant things, then you are done and people move on with their lives. You are relieved. Whew! Glad that is over!
Now think about this. In effect, you suffered for two weeks leading up to this presentation. If we could actually measure the amount of suffering that you endured...with a "sufferometer" or something...we would find that this amount was much greater than the suffering that you would have experienced even if your presentation hadn't gone well! The chances that your worst fears come true - that you flub your presentation so badly that you become a laughing stock for the remainder of your days on earth - is nil.
This goes back to Balzac's statement, "Our worst misfortunes never happen, and most miseries lie in anticipation." If we can remind ourselves of this when we notice that we are beginning to become anxious, we just might be avoid or mitigate some unnecessary suffering.
This one came to me by way of a client. He was using this to help him with anxiety. This is from Honore de Balzac, a French novelist and playwright (b. 1799 - d. 1850). We wrote:
"Our worst misfortunes never happen, and most miseries lie in anticipation."
I see this as a very powerful (general) truth. Certainly, we encounter some great misfortunes in life, but never as many as our minds spin for us. What is so interesting is that the amount that we actually suffer in anticipation of possible misfortunes happening far outweighs the misery caused by these negative events actually happening.
Now, we can all think of exceptions to this, but let's try to view this as a general truth that we can use. Here's an example that fits what I'm talking about. Suppose you have a presentation to make at school or work in two weeks. You begin to worry about it. What if I mess up? What if I don't have anything intelligent to say? What if I leave a bad impression on people? What if I lose my job because my presentation is so bad? We've all been there at one time or another. You lose some sleep over it. You fret, you agonize, you pace around, you are on edge...for two weeks leading up to the presentation.
Then you give the presentation. Maybe it's not a home run and people don't give you a standing ovation, but you do okay, say some relevant things, then you are done and people move on with their lives. You are relieved. Whew! Glad that is over!
Now think about this. In effect, you suffered for two weeks leading up to this presentation. If we could actually measure the amount of suffering that you endured...with a "sufferometer" or something...we would find that this amount was much greater than the suffering that you would have experienced even if your presentation hadn't gone well! The chances that your worst fears come true - that you flub your presentation so badly that you become a laughing stock for the remainder of your days on earth - is nil.
This goes back to Balzac's statement, "Our worst misfortunes never happen, and most miseries lie in anticipation." If we can remind ourselves of this when we notice that we are beginning to become anxious, we just might be avoid or mitigate some unnecessary suffering.
posted by Dr. Mike Brooks at 9:13 AM
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