The Importance of Social Relationships

It's been awhile since I've posted an article, and I've been thinking about writing this one for over a month. Actually, this should have been one of my first articles written. Several of the articles that I've posted have been about how to improve one's overall well-being. Another factor that is integrally related to our sense of well-being is the quality of our social relationships. There are countless studies that demonstrate that our happiness is tied to the quality of social relationships. Simply put, the better social relationships that we have, the happier we are. The greater conflict we have in our social relationships or the more detached we are from relationships, the more likely we are to be unhappy. I read one meta-analysis (a study of studies) on the subject that estimated that about 70% of our overall happiness comes from the quality of our social relationships.

This makes sense when you think about it. We are inherently social creatures. Over millions of years, evolution has shaped us to be dependent upon close knit groups. We need others to survive and thrive. Looking at it a different way, when have the happiest moments in your life been? Chances are they have been when you were with close friends or relatives. You'd be hard pressed to find someone with many close relationships that is unhappy. Conversely, you are unlikely to find someone who is truly happy who does not have any close relationships or who has relationships that are characterized by frequent conflict.

If you agree that what I'm saying makes some sense, then the implication is that we all should strive to develop, maintain, and improve our social relationships. Make sure that you spend quality time with your family and friends, reconnect with some former high school or college buddies, go on some trips and outings with family or friends, or try to make some better connections with your coworkers and neighbors. These are the things that truly make us happy. It's not the plasma TV, the BMW, or the mansion. Yes, it would be fun to pick up your good friend in your shiny new BMW convertible, take him back to your mansion, and watch "Lost" or a Longhorn football game on your 52" plasma TV. What I'm saying is that you are likely to more fun doing about anything with that close friend than sitting at home alone in your mansion watching your plasma TV with the BMW parked in the driveway.

My next post will be about some simple ways to improve our relationships, so stay tuned...

The Myth of Multitasking

Nowadays, it seems that we have much to do...oftentimes too much. So, what's the solution? Multitasking, of course! Let's do that cell phone business call or catch up with friends while we are driving. How about answering a few emails while working on another project on the computer? No problem! Teens seem especially fond of IMing their friends while working on homework. But we can do it all, right? We are just multitasking!

Have you ever tried to multiply a number in your head while reading a book? How about trying to follow a movie while have a deep discussion about God, the universe, and everything with friends? We just can't do it. While the human brain is capable of doing many tasks simultaneously, like walking and chewing gum or washing the dishes while talking on the phone, we are not designed to do complex thinking tasks at the same time. We are fighting millions of years of evolution when we try to do so. Research shows that what we are actually doing when we are "multitasking" is task-switching. For instance, when a teen is IMing friends on the computer and writing a report, they are not capable of doing both simultaneously. Rather, they are rapidly switching between the 2 tasks.

Studies have shown that our performance goes down when we are trying to do too many tasks at once. It takes a while for our brains to get back into gear when we switch from one task to another. An example from my life is when I try to keep my email program open while I work on a report. When I give in to the temptation of checking my email, invariably I take a few moments to answer the email and then get back to my report. Then it takes me at least a minute or two to pick back up my train of thought. Teens might be more used to this than adults, but studies show that they suffer the same effect: the quality of performance deteriorates because the brain must take time to adjust to the unique demands of each task. You have probably read about how people are more prone to have auto accidents when talking on their cell phones - EVEN WHEN they use the hands-free headsets.

What's the solution? As with most things, the first step in working on the problem is to identify it as a problem. Avoid talking on your cell phone while driving. Turn off your email or IM program when you are working on something important on the computer. Watch the movie after doing your homework. Give each task that you do the benefit of your full attention. Complete that one task, then move on to the next. Because if you are trying to multitask with the belief that you are getting more done in less time, that's not the case. And with that extra time that you save by doing tasks serially, try doing something fun instead of more work. :-)