Getting Centered

What helps you feel centered? Finding activities that give us a sense of peace - that help us to feel grounded - are critical to our happiness. In the hustle & bustle of our lives, we often don't slow down enough to find a sense of peace. There are too many places to go, things to see, people to meet, etc. Still, we've all had those times that give us a sense of peace and clarity...even if those times are fleeting. Think back...when was the last time that you felt that sense of peace? What were you doing? How long ago was it? Whatever the answer to the last question, it's probably been too long.

What gives one person a sense of peace may be quite different from another. However, we should all endeavor to find what these centering activities are and ensure that we are doing them frequently. I think that a realistic goal is to find a little time daily to do some centering activity. It doesn't have to take long...even a few minutes can be helpful. On a personal note, I've found a number of activities to be centering such as yoga, prayer, relaxed breathing, watching a sunset, and viewing the stars in the night sky. Make a point of finding the time and activities that help you to feel centered. These are the times that help us to appreciate how amazing life can be.

The Overstuffed Life

I've been listening to a presentation from a psychology conference by Dr. Peter Fraenkel on "Living the Overstuffed Life" in which he discusses the negative effects associated with our busy work lives. I felt a little guilty as I listened to his lecture on my Ipod while jogging since I was trying to stuff two activities into one. An interesting topic that he addressed was how our busy work lives have a negative effect on our relationships. Some of the following thoughts are inspired by his presentation.

As I mentioned in a previous blog, our lives are busier than ever. I think that our American culture is partly to blame for the added hours to our work schedules. There seems to be a competitive masochism such that people try to outdo each other with the amount of hours of work that are put in. "Oh, you worked about 50 hours last week? I must have put in about 65 hours! I've been at the office until 9 every night this week!"

Another source of blame for our longer work hours is technology. Technology is supposed to make our lives easier and help us to get "connected," but it often seems to have the opposite effects. Instead of saving time with technology, now we have no excuse to stop working because work is always at our fingertips via our laptops, Blackberries, cell phones, etc. Connecting to people with technology also can create a wedge in important relationships in our lives. How many times have you seen people talking and then one one gets a cell phone call and breaks off the conversation with the person in front of them to talk to the person on the cell? How many people are on email in the evening instead of spending time with family members? How many people are blogging in the evenings instead of spending time with their wives...er, hey wait a second!

Okay, yes, I'm guilty of this too. We all have this challenge before us...how to put our time and energy into things that truly give us joy. Research indicates that most of our happiness in life (I've read about 70%) comes from having positive relationships with others. This makes sense. When were the best times of your life? Chances are that those times were with friends and family. On the other side of things, long work hours keep us disconnected from important relationships, lower our immune system, contribute to heart disease, asthma, and stress. New research indicates that stress actually kills neurons and interferes with the growth of new ones.

What can we do? I have a few suggestions on this front. Well, the first step is an awareness of this problem. Second, is to contemplate the benefits of reducing our work loads, disconnecting from technology, and spending quality time with important people in our lives. Third, is to try to take some steps...even if very small ones...that take is in the direction that we want to go. Me? I'm going to make a commitment to only blogging while I'm at work :-)

Help with Insomnia

I discussed the the importance of getting a good night's sleep in a previous blog. Have you tried it getting 8 hours of sleep per night as a week long experiment yet? Again, consider it "sleep therapy" because there are few things that you could do that have as great an impact as sleep on your emotional and physical well-being.

This recommendation begs the question: "What if I have insomnia? I'm trying to sleep better but I can't!" There are several simple things to try if you are having insomnia. Consider trying some of these tips BEFORE pursueing prescription medication because medication has side effects including cost, dependency, grogginess, etc. Check out the latest issue of Consumer Reports for a discussion about the problems with sleep medications.

As a grow older, I'm more and more convinced that the first and best course of action is to try the simple, more natural ways of handling problems before going to more extreme measures. For me, insomnia falls into this category. The big caveat here is that if you suspect that there could be a physical problem, such as hypertension, behind your sleep difficulties, you need to discuss this with your physician. In fact, it's important to have regular physicals and checkups by your physician as a precautionary measure for a variety of physical problems. This blog is not to be construed as medical advice.

With that caveat in mind, here are a few things that you can do that might help you get to sleep:

1. Avoid caffeine, alcohol, tobacco products, and exercise several hours before bed. With caffeine, I'd recommend not having any at least 8 hours before going to bed. I'd recommend no exercise or alcohol at least 3 hours before bed. For alcohol, it's particularly important not to go to sleep while inebriated because it disrupts your sleep cycle and REM sleep.

2. Avoid watching exciting TV shows and movies at least 1 hour before bed (e.g., actions flicks, horror movies, thrillers). Also, avoid playing action-oriented video and computer games at least 1-2 hours before bedtime.

3. Use the bed only for sleeping. You want your body & mind to associate the bed with sleep and not a multitude of activities such as reading, watching TV, checking email on the laptop, etc. That means it's best to remove the TV from your bedroom.

4. Try using a white noise maker in the background. I use one that has the sounds of rain, waterfalls, etc., and I love it.

5. Have a bedtime ritual or develop a routine around bedtime. This gets your body programmed for sleep.

6. Avoid bright lights near bedtime. These signal our brain that we need to wake up/keep alert.

7. Don't get to bed hungry or overly full.

8. Don't have a clock in view. You'll be tempted to check it periodically which could up your anxiety about falling asleep.

9. If you can't fall asleep after about 30 minutes, get up and do something boring (or at least non-stimulating) like reading a book. I find that if I have trouble falling asleep because I'm extremely anxious about something (like finishing a report), then I'll just work on that. That will at least reduce my anxiety about that particular task.

10. Have the temperature adjusted to a comfortable level before attempting to sleep.

11. Try some drinking some warm milk or herbal tea as part of your bedtime ritual.

12. These tips for sleeping can be helpful for anyone. But, just to emphasize this again, if you have any reason to suspect that there is a medical/physical reason behind your sleep difficulties, consult your physician. It's good to rule out physical problems on the front end by having physical exams on a regular basis. Also, if you continue to experience difficulties falling asleep and have tried many strategies, it will be important to consult your physician.

I hope that some of these tips help, and I wish you pleasant dreams!

The Importance of Good Nutritional Habits

I've already blogged about the importance of sleep and exercise, so now let's complete the triumvirate by discussing a bit about good nutritional habits. As you've heard and read, obesity in America has reached epidemic proportions. About 2 out of 3 Americans is overweight and about 1 out of 3 Americans is obese. Our fast-paced lifestyle has not left us much time for creating nutritious meals. We eat out a lot and fast and convenience foods are a staple of the American diet. Let's face it - it's a real challenge to eat healthy meals.

We've been genetically programmed to be attracted to sugar, fat, and salty foods. This was okay when those foods were harder to come by. Although a certain amount of these foods is important to a healthy diet, our bodies did not evolve to process the quantities of these foods that we put in them nowadays. These foods are ubiquitous and our taste buds scream out for the momentary pleasures that we were evolved to experience from them.

In addition to the quantities of sugar, fat, and salts that we receive in our diets, we are eating fewer fruits and vegetables and more processed foods. Someone told me that when deciding whether to eat a certain food an effective rule of thumb is: If your grandmother would not recognize it as food, don't eat it. Our bodies don't recognize Twinkies, Cheetos, tubed yogurt squishy things etc. as familiar (from our ancestry), nutritious food.

Your mom probably said this to you when you were little, but I believe that there's a lot of truth to the saying "You are what you eat." Harking back to what I blogged about previously, our minds and bodies are connected. They are inextricably linked so that one affects the other for good or for ill. Eating healthy meals is one way of improving your cognitive and emotional functioning. It's difficult to say what proportion of our sense of well-being is related to healthy eating habits, but one could say without reservation that having balanced, healthy eating habits could only improve our cognitive and emotional functioning.

Of course, there are a zillion diet plans out there but I'm not talking about a diet plan. A diet implies that it is temporary. Typically people get on a diet with a specific goal to lose a few pounds and then get off of the diet once the goal is achieved. I'm referring to having a lifestyle of healthy eating habits. I will talk about some straightforward tips on healthy eating in a future blog, but I highly recommend nutritious eating habits to improve our emotional and physical well-being. It is all connected.